Skinny Girls Who Think They're Fat

Let me start by saying I am not a weightist. I love skinny people. Some of my best friends are skinny, lol. But seriously, I fall into the plump and pleasing category. And as a plus size woman I'm always looking for things to make my body look less plump and more pleasing. I recently heard about this great shapewear called Body Magic. It sucks in your waist. It gives the girls up top a nice boost and makes that bottom look fabulous.

I was invited to a meeting to learn more about Body Magic. At the meeting were several other ladies who, though not obese, could benefit from some good shapewear. Also joining us was a beautiful woman with an absolutely perfect body. Curvy and no fat anywhere. I'm thinking why are you here? If I had your body I would go everywhere in a bikini, work, church, outside in the cold.

So the meeting started and we went around the room and told what we wanted to fix on our bodies. Ms. Perfect is all, "I had a baby and had a really hard time losing weight." I was super irked now. She has a baby! Are you freaking kidding me? I look pregnant now and I haven't had any kids.

The time came for us to try on the Body Magic suits. Ms. Perfect can't fit any of the suits because they're all.. wait for it...you guessed it too big. I on the other hand had to be pushed against the wall so that I could fit into mine.

LOL, I feel almost bad writing this because she was really sweet. Just a little deluded. I see this all the time. At the gym. In clothing store dressing rooms, etc. Ladies if you don't wear double digit sizes you are not fat. And even if you wear double digit sizes you aren't necessarily fat. Stop stressing yourselves out. Stop starving yourselves. So what if you have to go up to the next dress size cause you got a little junk in your trunk. Boo hoo, instead of being a size 6 you're an 8. Cry me a river. I've never been a 6 or an 8 and I'm happy. I love myself and I accept my body. I wear a double digit size and I'm not ready to kill myself. It could use some improvement and I'm working on it. But never again will I let it make me feel bad about myself. You shouldn't either, because you're beautiful.

I ended up buying the Body Magic and I'm gonna work that garment because I'm a superstar. I'm fabulous, not because of this body, but because of what's inside this body.

Skinny girls, take notes.

(Shameless plug. I also sell the Body Magic. Hit me up if you want to learn more about it.)

My accidental foray into the adult industry (Part 2): Free labor is not a freaking internship, jerkhead

So Wednesday night I headed to my 8 p.m. "job interview." The same one that everyone thought was a porn audition. (A special thanks to all the guy friends who offered to help me "prepare" for my job interview).

Turns out it wasn't a porn audition, but strangely they still managed to find a way to try to screw me. The company is looking for people to promote their business and work events they hold for pretty much no pay. They're calling it an "internship program."

I'm pretty laid back, but this is one thing that really pisses me off. Companies that try to pimp you for free labor and then have the nerve to call it a freaking internship. Its not a freaking internship if you aren't teaching me anything. Its not a freaking internship if I work my ass off for you and don't get paid for it. That is volunteer work, not an internship. Call it what it is.

I'd like to put these posers on blast. If you're too cheap to pay a salary or if your company is just starting out its fine, just be real about it. Call it what it is.

XXX??? My unintentional foray into the adult movie industy Part 1

After a recent spate of traffic tickets. I'd managed to run up a pretty expensive tab to the city of Sandy Springs. Somewhere in the, oh, $1200 range. (Hmmph, yeah I know).

In an effort to pay this off and not have to eat ramen for the rest of my life. I came up with the brilliant idea to get a part time job. It needed to be something part time that I could do for a few hours on the weekends when I was off. I scoured Craigslist and happened upon an interesting ad.

They company was looking for people to work as concession or ushers for a film festival. That sounded cool to me. I could watch movies and make money at the same time. Plus it was one day a week. Solid! I contacted the poster and scheduled an interview for later in the week. The first interview went great, but the employer was saying things were kind of slow now, but they would contact me around the first of March when things were getting busy.

I told my best friend about it and she joked that it was some sort of seedy porn company. After the interview I joked with her that I'd be shooting my first movie later that week. We had a good laugh.

A couple weeks passed and I forgot about it. But then this morning I get a e-mail to come in for a follow-up interview. At 8 p.m. Yeah 8 at night. Hmm, so not wanting to seem totally naive I'm all what could they possibly interview me about at 8 p.m. that could not be done, oh I don't know, during the day.

The kicker is that the company that sent me the interview e-mail is going by the name Traxxx Entertainment. Traxxx with a triple X. So I contact a friend of mine who is a bit of a porn connisseur and asked if he was familiar with these guys. He of course was. He suggested that maybe the job wasn't for a porn actress, but for something legit. But if I needed to practice for the interview, he would be willing to help me out. He's so thoughtful.

I'm curious to see what's going to come of this, (Plus I need good blog material) so I'm going to check it out. I will let you know how it goes...

In the mean time I'm interested if anyone has ever had an experience like this before. Have you ever totally misinterpreted a situation and ended up in a totally unexpected predicament? Tell me about it.

Welcome to my blog

Greetings and welcome to Are you freaking kidding me?

I created this blog as a way to vent about and discuss the absurdities of life. Hopefully we can all get things off of our chest and even laugh about it. During these particularly stressful times, I hope this can be a place where people can find some sort of relief. A stressfree, non-judgemental place to just let go.

I've found that the best way to deal with life is the find the funny or utterly absurd aspects in it. One of those laugh to keep from crying kind of deals.

Have fun.